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Sexual therapy

How does systematic family approach theoretically and practically treats clients‘ sexual problems?

It is impossible to discuss marriage, sex and intimacy without touching upon difference in how men/ women are thought to experience sexual relations.

When we are discussing partner relationships, marriage, family we should consider that our culture determines what we thing and feel about ourselves and others as men and women.

This conceptualization is determined by the our culture and we are thought to think about ourselves and others as men and women.


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Traditional understanding of roles leads to split regarding how we express our needs and feelings.

Men do not like to be dependant on women which reflects in sexuality area.

Sex can be experienced as a tool in negotiations linked to power-control in relationship; to regulate intimacy-distance in relationship, obsequiousness, power demonstration, humiliation, calming down or improvement.

Traditionally it is an act of surrender for woman and an act of conquest for man where he participates in cultural symbolism of patriarchal society that gives him a feeling of belonging – an identity of a male. This is contributed by many myths, traditional rules that give us an charade of a powerful man and a passive women.

Great obstacle to accomplish harmony in relationships is clients‘ inability to openly express disagreement; this is especially characteristic for women since the image of a caring women is incompatible with a dissatisfied person.

This is why personal history and family gender stories and teachings (Sexual genogram) are an important part in dealing with sexual problems. Partners define different meanings of intimacy and connect them with their personal histories and gender teachings.


What are the most known cultural sexual motives?

  1. As in dance performance is also important in sex – man should lead and woman should follow.
  2. Sexual act is penetrative sex.
  3. Foreplay is less important than the actual intercourse – penetration is the most important for orgasm.
  4. Both female and male erogenous zones are around genitals.
  5. Women use sex to seduce men and vise versa.
  6. Man should not show feelings as this will bring his manhood in question.
  7. Good sex is spontaneous, there is no room for planning. In contrary to this, there is no spontaneity, rituals are being prescribed.


What is the most important regarding sexual therapy?

The most important is to start a conversation-communication in regards to responsibility to ones role – to share ones inner conversation with partner – thoughts, dreams, feelings.

This is not easy since clients are embarrassed to talk about this openly.

Therapist‘s task is to release them of embarrassment and to treat sex as an integral part of human relations.

When the therapist is liberal to discuss this they liberate as well.

Therapist acts as an expert as there are also direct physical obstacles connected with sexual dysfunctions. Therapist directly offers expertise-I‘m a therapist and learn something from me. Educational work is very significant in sexual therapy, ritual prescription-who, when and how participates.


What are the most common problems we deal with?

Men – premature ejaculation, weak erection, inability to have an erection and orgasm.

Women – lack of desire or orgasm, complaints about frequency and quality of intercourse.

Terms impotency and frigidity are no longer in use – it is discussed about this in terms of physical and psychological causes or the interference combination of the two, respectively, in terms of relation in partners‘ relations.


How are systematical family and sexual therapy connected?

Sexual therapy is psychological-educational approach with behavioral tasks.

Therapist is an expert that uses scientific knowledge, that gives advice with a clear idea of what is the goal of therapy by guiding with questions and specific language.

Use of systematic family therapy has following characteristics: therapist’s transparency in regards of self usage, collaboration, co-construction, trans-generational consideration of problem and solution for the clients, curiosity and sensitivity for gender, culture and power.


Check the video material: Sexual therapy


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